


Brave face, talk so lightly, hide the truth (hide the truth)

by n30xy5



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: A character study of sorts, Angst, F/F, Mentions of Blood, Mentions of Suicide, and when I say "speck" i mean it almost isn't here, im sorry :'), non-graphic depictions of injuries, this is just angst with a speck of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:00:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28435014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/n30xy5/pseuds/n30xy5
Summary: After the Vatican, the lives taken just... don’t stop. They don't.
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Comments: 6
Kudos: 62





	Brave face, talk so lightly, hide the truth (hide the truth)

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the tags for possibly triggering content :)  
> Title from "Sick of Losing Soulmates" by Dodie

Ava likes to consider herself as a thoughtful person. 

Being paralyzed for almost all of your life does that to someone. 

She knows she isn’t the smartest girl on Earth, but she has her moments.

This time isn’t one of those.

X x X

Since the beginning, she knew it wasn’t the best idea to get involved in all this. But, she didn’t predict that she would get this tired -ironic, for someone who laid in a bed for so long- of everything happening. All the pain, the deaths she couldn’t prevent, the hurt, the loss. Because of Adriel. 

After the Vatican, the lives taken just... don’t stop. They don't. 

It starts with Father Vincent shooting himself in the head in front of the girls. It keeps going with the kidnapping of Diego, the death threats from a grief-stricken, turned-crazy Jillian. They lose friends, they lose family. They’re on the verge of losing faith. 

Ava tries her best. She really, really tries to keep their heads up. But it’s never enough.

(“Hey! As long as we’re together, we’ll get through this. I won’t leave you guys again. I won’t leave _you_ again.” “Promise?”, “Promise.”) 

But what can you do when the most pious person loses conviction? 

Their lives get resumed to training, fighting, sleeping; they look for him everywhere, follow hollow leads, fall in numerous traps. 

Their hidden war never stops. 

Because stopping means death. 

And Ava _cannot_ die. She’s the Halo bearer for god’s sake. She has to protect Mary. She has to protect Lilith. She has to protect Camila. She has to protect _Beatrice_. 

_Fuck_. 

Beatrice. 

Strong, badass, beautiful, smart Beatrice. She can’t remember a moment where she wasn’t totally enamoured of her. 

Well, to be quite honest, she can’t remember much, everything melting into a past that she cannot look back upon. 

X x X

It’s in winter when _it_ happens. 

They have promising information that guides them to an empty wearhouse. A woman stands there, only covered by a simple white dress. Her eyes are red, and when she opens her mouth to talk, it’s with a voice from beyond the grave. 

“He wants to meet with you, for He is tired of fighting.” 

Ava chuckles dryly at that. Behind her, Mary and Camila stay silent.   
  
She’s more dry than anything, these days. She keeps the tears inside. 

“Oh reaaally. Poor crazy angel was stuck behind twenty feet of concrete for two thousand years but can’t handle fighting for a few months?”

The Wraith demon growls, deep and rumbling. The black woman loads her shotgun as a warning gesture. 

“Oh, instead of being all mad, say where and when.”

“In the labs, with the Door. In seven days, after the rise of the moon.”

“There’s like, a whole lot of labs with doors, you have to be more precise big guy.” She snickers. Inside, she’s trembling.

“ARQTECH’s labs. And it is not a mere door, puny human. It is the door that will mmmph-” It interrupts before finishing, crimson red evaporating from the woman. She falls on her knees to the ground, very disoriented. 

“Looks like Belzebuth got called home. Damn, I’m in trouble.” Ava exhales, tension barely leaving her body.

“Girl, you will not even _think_ about considering this proposition.” states Mary, worry written all over her face. 

“I do, actually. This little...b-female dog-” she corrects herself after Camila frowns at her, “is getting on my nerves.”

Beatrice, on the coms, disbelievingly scoffs. “Oh, you think you have a say in this?”

Ava doesn’t respond.  
  
Yet, they all know her answer. 

X x X

The atmosphere is tense when they come back. Beatrice’s grip on the steering wheel is tight, silence heavy in the van. 

Exhaustion suddenly takes Ava from the back, making her fall asleep in Camila’s lap. The girl touches her hair in gentle strokes, humming the low tune of some obscure chant under her breath. Mary has her head propped up on her guns, eyes closed. 

They’re all so, _so_ tired. 

X x X

As the night leaves place to daylight, the group agrees that it’s most definitely a trap, and that they’ll do everything to stop the impetuous Halo bearer to go. Ava’s quiet attitude worries them. 

She barely eats, doesn’t stay with them at dinner, trains alone, for five day straight.  
  
  


The sixth day, she’s with them. Laughs with Camila, spars with Lilith, banters with Mary. Beatrice looks at the scene fondly, while a ray of sun hits them _just so_ that Ava appears almost glowing.   
  
Her heart constricts at this, the vision otherworldly.   
  
Ava must hear her thoughts, because she looks at her with a radiant smile, comes near her and takes her hand. They don’t speak, but the blush on both of their cheeks does. 

X x X

The seventh day, after the moon is at the highest point in the vast, dark expanse of the sky, the doors of ARQTECH’s labs are forced open ; there’s no grace to the moment, all shards and loud, sharp sounds of the metal scraping against the pavement. The building is empty, except for perhaps a woman cradling the remains of childish drawings. Ava knows she’s no danger : the real peril is in the entrails of the basement, where lies what she knows is a door that only awaits her strength, her _life_ to be powered.   
  
No need for discretion, subtle subterfuges like the ones she used on her warrior sisters. They’re all on another lead. She remembers that she’s alone, and her heart pangs, but it’s for the better. She walks through the debris of several fights, broken ground, craters of what seems to be grenades that exploded. All is quiet, a deadly silence swarming her senses.   
  
She goes inside, used to the place, makes her way to the end of the stairs that lead to the room she dreads to see; her vision, blurry, instantly clears as she feels the dangerous aura emanating from in front of her.   
  
“You're here.” His voice isn’t surprised. He knew she’d come. 

“Yeah, sure thing. So, how are we gonna do this? I beat your ass, you go back to wherever you’re from?” she sounds self-assured.  
  
She isn’t.   
  
“No, this is how it is going to go : you give me back what is mine, and in exchange I will give your friends and all that have wronged me a quick death. You, on the other hand, are a burden that I wish to get rid of.” he chuckles. “Come on, Halo Bearer: hit me with all you’ve got.”. 

Ava charges, divinium sword shining its blue glow in the darkness; no time for talking anymore. He came alone, which surprises her, but she knows it’s only because he thinks her non-threatening. He is wrong. She’s swift, in both attacking and parading.   
  
The fight is equal for a while, sparkles of their blades intertwining in a fury Hell-like.   
  
But she tires. And he doesn’t. The Halo’s light is a bit fainter through her clothes, and she remembers why her sisters told her she was in no way able to beat him. He’s a supposed angel, and she is a small human who barely started living for herself.   
  
“Ava...wh...re are y..ou?” the statics coming out of her earpiece startle her. She almost gets hit by a fast blow, surges to the side while pressing a button to un-mute her mic.   
  
“So, hey-” she dodges to the right, comes close to the snarling face of Adriel. “You know how you said I really wasn’t prepared to fight him and I said “pffshh, yeah right” ? Yeah well I'm thinking of going back on those words-”   
  
She gets projected on a wall, phases through it, and does what she knows best: she runs, going outside, where she thinks she’ll fight better.   
  
“You..etter be f..cking ki..ing me- Av..a, where a..re you ??” Mary’s voice on the coms is like a balm, energizing her while she hears Adriel following her, tearing down walls.   
  
“ _Ava_.”   
  
She escapes, speeds, until she feels the air of the outside on her face. There she waits, handle held by both hands, torn chestplate heaving with every breath taken.   
  
“ _Ava_.”   
  
“Now is _not_ the time for me to start hearing voices.” she rasps out, a humorless chuckle rising in her throat. “God, is that you? ‘Cause this is a _terrible_ time to show up.”  
  
 _“No, you idiot, it’s_ me _.”_   
  
A pause.   
  
“Sh-Shannon?”   
  
“Yes. I can take over your body for a few minutes. Can’t do longer, because it would drain the Halo too fast, but using my and the other Halo Bearer’s knowledge while your mind rests for a bit would help.” 

“How do I know this isn’t Adriel trying to get over my body? Until he gave it to Areala, the Halo belonged to him.” She focuses on the cement being exploded in tiny pieces as the angel joins her, his feral walk slowing down to a slow pace. His face and some part of his body where the fabric had been cut open showed gleaming markings, looking like they gnawed through his skin.   
  
“The more you run, the angrier I get, Ava Silva. And the angrier I get, the easier I am to be tracked down by _them_ . Which I cannot let happen. Give. Me. The Halo.”   
  
She swirls her sword, spits some red-ish saliva on the ground, doesn’t utter a word.   
  
“ _He stole it. It’s not his. He’s connected to it, yes, but we’ve been passing it down for generations, enough to be relied to it as well. Please, Ava. Let us help. Use us_ .”   
  
“If I die, I will _so_ haunt you.”   
  
She senses her body, channeling her focus on the soft heat of the Halo. There, almost instinctively after all those months of training, visualises it.   
  
She walks through it, seeing in front of her several women, all looking at her with their eyes glowing white. 

“Go ahead, then.”   
  
Her vision goes black.

X x X

Anger. So much anger, pent up from years of being stuck in the idea of the Halo, from being nourished by the additioned emotions of all the Halo Bearers. Exhaustion, too, poisoning their minds like the snake did to Eve, or so it is taught.   
Ava slices and cuts and feels the pain of his hits but gives them back stronger, deeper, with more intent. If she wins, she can rest. If she wins, she can go back to her friends. If she wins, she can go back to Bea. And that spurs her on to attack with more rage. His eyes widen, he starts to get scared. 

X x X

When she comes back to her senses, she's panting. She feels the blood dripping everywhere, and she doesn’t know if it's hers or Adriels. Doesn’t want to, really. A gentle hand on her shoulder makes her jump, and she turns around to find the face of Beatrice, looking at her with such a tender expression that her heart flutters. But something feels off. The nun isn’t dressed with the attire Ava saw her leave with. No, Beatrice is dressed in a white dress, her hair undone, floating almost.   
  
“You’re not Bea.”   
  
Beatrice’s expression changes slightly, a frown almost forming; crinkle heavy between her brows. Her hands goes up higher, higher, higher, until she reaches Ava’s bloodstained cheek. She doesn’t talk, and Ava thinks she understands.   
  
“Oh.” The breath shuddered out of her body is heavy.   
  
The wind picks up, cold, piercing to all, but it almost relieves the ache of her wounds that aren’t closing. She doesn’t feel the pain of them, just the idea of it.   
  
“Can I see her? one last time? She’s here, isn’t she? That’s why you took her form.” Ava’s voice is quiet, rough, broken from screaming.   
  
The creature under Beatrice’s traits nods once, slowly.

X x X

“Ava? hey, hey stay with me okay? stay with me, I’m here, please don’t leave-”  
  
She feels her body being rocked, the familiar warmth calming her.   
  
“Hey Bea.” she coughs out some blood, body splayed over Beatrice’s slender one.   
  
Her head is spinning a bit, vision black on the corners from the loss of blood . Beatrice looks at her like she grew a second head, but her tear-stained face says otherwise.   
  
“I love you. I know...I know it’s selfish of me to say that when I’m clearly dying,” (“You’re not-”) “But I love you.”   
  
Beatrice’s eyes speak a thousand words, and she doesn’t need to talk to say that she feels the same.   
  
“You’re not dying, stop saying that.” The raised brow and disbelieving smile she gets in answer make Beatrice’s eyes water.   
  
They spend a few moments like that, looking at each other, the presence of Lilith, Camila and Mary hovering around them like a smoke cloud.   
  
  
  
The air is glacial, sharp against their skin.

  
  
“Ha. It’s really cold huh? Wonder if it’ll snow tonight. Been a while since I last saw some.” Ava says, suddenly too still, voice barely above a whisper. 

The visible puffs of breath coming out of her mouth start to slowly, morbidly die down. 

With a calm smile, she closes her eyes, cradled in the arms of Beatrice, surrounded by her sisters. Finally, _finally_ she can rest. 

The tears wetting her face, pooling on her neck, making the red snow melt where they fall are not hers.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Over their heads, a small gush of wind brings up golden dust, shimmering a mere second, as if saying hello to the stars, before disappearing.   
  
  
  
  
  
It does snow that night. 

**Author's Note:**

> ,,,I'm sorry?   
> Comments, (constructive) criticisms and kudos are always welcomed with open arms :))  
> Love you all <3


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